Posted On April 10, 2023.

Couples Counseling is a form of therapy designed to help couples build better relationships and communication. One popular approach to couples counseling is known as Gottman Couples Counseling, which is based on the research of Dr. John and Julie Gottman. In this blog post, we'll be looking at five myths and five truths about Gottman Couples Counseling, so you can decide if it might be right for you and your partner.

1) Gottman couples counseling is expensive

When it comes to marriage therapy, marriage counseling, relationship counseling, or relationship help, many couples hesitate because of the cost. While there is certainly an investment to be made in your marriage, relationship, and family, it is important to remember that the cost of Gottman couples counseling is often less than the cost of unhappiness and even divorce. It is essential to invest in your relationship and its success so that it can last a lifetime. 

Gottman couples counseling provides a safe space for couples to explore their issues and work on improving their communication, trust, and connection. Through this type of counseling, couples can gain insight into how they interact with each other and learn how to work through their issues more effectively. The costs associated with Gottman couples counseling include the therapist's fees, as well as any materials or assessments that may be used during the counseling session. 

At the end of the day, it is up to the couple to decide if the cost of Gottman couples counseling is worth the long-term benefit. Investing in your relationship now could save you time, money, and heartache down the road.

2) You need to be in a bad place to go to Gottman couples counseling

This is one of the biggest misconceptions about the Gottman Method of Couples Therapy. Gottman Method is an evidence-based approach to couples counseling that can help any relationship, no matter how strong or weak it may be. The Gottman Method was developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, are two of the world’s leading researchers in marriage and couples therapy. The Gottman Method focuses on teaching couples how to increase their emotional connection, communication, and understanding of each other. It also helps them build new skills to help them handle conflicts and differences more constructively. Marriage therapy, marriage counseling, relationship counseling, or relationship help is not only for couples in a bad place or those having serious issues; rather, it’s for any couple looking to make improvements in their relationship. The Gottman Method works best when couples are willing to commit to the process and take action to improve their relationship. Each partner should come into the sessions with an open mind and willingness to work together to make a change. Both partners need to set goals for themselves and have a plan for achieving them. Additionally, both partners should practice being vulnerable with each other by expressing feelings, needs, thoughts, and ideas openly. By being honest with each other, couples will have a better chance of working through their issues together.

3) Gottman couples counseling is only for couples who are having serious problems

This is not true. Gottman couples counseling can be beneficial for couples regardless of the severity of the issues they are experiencing. Many couples seek out Gottman couples counseling even when there isn’t a serious problem. It can be used to strengthen relationships and to work through smaller issues that could become bigger problems if left unresolved. 

Gottman couples counseling allows couples to explore their relationship and gain a deeper understanding of each other. This can help couples to build stronger connections and healthier relationships overall. Through counseling, couples can learn how to identify and address issues constructively, as well as learn skills that can be used to strengthen their relationship over time. 

In addition, Gottman couples counseling can also be used to prevent serious problems from occurring in the future. By getting help early on, couples can learn how to recognize potential conflicts and deal with them healthily and effectively before they become more serious. 

Overall, Gottman couples counseling is not only for couples who are having serious problems; it can be used by all couples, regardless of the stage or state of their relationship, to help strengthen their bond and build a healthier relationship overall.

4) Gottman couples counseling takes a long time

Gottman couples counseling is designed to address deep issues and lasting change, meaning that it takes time to complete the process. The amount of time needed depends on the severity of the couple's issues, the level of commitment to change, and the willingness to work outside of the counseling office. 

In general, for couples who are willing to put in the effort to make lasting change, Gottman couples counseling can take between six months to one year to complete. During this period, a couple will meet regularly with a counselor, who will provide them with insight and guidance into how they can address their issues. Through a combination of talking, activities, and homework assignments, couples can learn effective communication skills, create better understanding between them, and build healthier relationships.

While Gottman couples counseling can be completed in less time if both partners are fully engaged in the process, it is not recommended to rush through it. For changes to be lasting, couples need to take their time and really focus on their individual and shared goals. Additionally, couples should also remember that there is no set timeframe for completing the process; each couple is different and may require more or less time than others to achieve their desired outcome. 

Overall, it is important to remember that although Gottman couples counseling can take a while to complete, it is an effective way to help couples work through their issues and create positive, lasting change. With dedication and commitment, couples can use Gottman couples counseling to improve their relationship and build a happier future together.

5) Gottman couples counseling is only for people who are willing to change

Gottman couples counseling is not just for couples in crisis. It can be used by any couple who is willing to work together on their relationship and make positive changes in their life. It’s important to note that both partners must be willing to change if they are to benefit from Gottman couples counseling. Counseling only works if both partners are open to learning, understanding, and working together to resolve issues.

If one partner is unwilling to change, unwilling to participate, or unwilling to remain in the relationship, then no type of counseling will help that situation. In this case, it's best to look for other types of therapy or seek outside help from a professional. 

Gottman couples counseling involves creating a safe space for each partner to express their feelings, thoughts, and needs without fear of judgment or criticism. Through open communication, each partner learns about the other and how to respond positively in moments of conflict. This type of counseling helps couples build stronger relationships and cultivate emotional intimacy by teaching them how to effectively communicate with each other and work through their differences.

Both partners must be committed to making changes for Gottman couples counseling to be successful. If one partner is unwilling to work on the relationship, then it's time to find another approach. Some people may opt for individual counseling sessions instead. Individual counseling allows each partner to work on his/her own behavior while also helping to address the underlying causes of stress in the relationship. There may also be some advantages to exploring alternative approaches such as spiritual guidance, group therapy, or lifestyle coaching. It's important to explore what makes sense for your particular situation and commit to a plan of action that addresses both partners' concerns. 

The key to successfully participating in Gottman couples counseling is to have realistic expectations. Don't expect things to magically get better overnight; sometimes it takes months or even years before progress can be seen. Change doesn't happen quickly - it requires hard work, dedication, and patience from both parties. Don't give up too easily - with dedication, commitment, and openness you can begin to see improvements in your relationship over time. Finally, remember that success doesn't always mean reconciliation; success may mean finding new ways to peacefully coexist and putting aside lingering resentments.